Six words.

That are guaranteed to make you Move!

"Mom, there's poop on the floor!"

My stomach is still churning.

The end.

Aware

Several weeks ago, I was having a day. And feeling very alone. (Not the good kind where you have a few minutes to yourself to read a book or shower or something equally as lovely.) Because I wasn't actually alone, I had three little people who needed my help and attention. There were a million things to do and places to be. I'm sure it is familiar. Most days I handle it. Not always beautifully, but still, we get through.

Not this day. This day I was ready to wave the white flag. And I may have muttered something about "I can't be a single mom anymore." Which is really, really far from the truth and not something my children need to hear me complaining about.

Background: My husband is currently serving as Branch President of our church unit. And while we have been blessed immeasurably, sometimes I just really miss/need him. His schedule is crazy. Full of visits and meetings. Planned or at the drop of a hat. On Sunday he is gone before the kids and I (or the sun, for that matter) are up and only sometimes makes it home for dinner. He works hard and he is tired but he doesn't complain. I'm so grateful he is willing and worthy to do it.

But this particular day I just needed him. And I was feeling a little bit sorry for myself, inside. And my heart was definitely turning a little hard.

The end of the day found me in the foyer of our church building following a Memorial Service (see, and I'm complaining about a bad day?) surrounded by a few other members of our congregation. Out of the blue, one gentleman put his arm around my shoulder and said, "You're doing a good job. You're doing a good job as the branch president's wife. I know you all sacrifice a lot for him to be able to serve." I sort of got a lump in my throat. He continued about what a good man my husband is and told me to never forget that.

Then another friend spoke up and said, "I pray for you every day. Every day. And I pray for your children by name." And it really touched my heart. And suddenly it didn't feel quite as hard as it had earlier in the day. (But I also thought, lady, that may be the only reason we make it some days!)

And then I talked about Sister Jones, she was standing there too, and how grateful I am for her. She has sat with me nearly every Sacrament meeting for over 4.5 years to help me with the kids. And the lump in my throat started to rise and my eyes were filling up with wet because then I remembered.

I remembered that my Heavenly Father is aware of me. He knows this is not easy for our family. He knows my struggles. And He allows me to have them so that I can stretch and grow. And lean on Him. But also, He blesses me with sweet experiences that remind me that I am not alone.

Pay it Forward: the follow up

Way back in February I got on the "Pay it Forward" (blog style) bandwagon. Original post here.

I love Halloween so when I came across this post, I knew I wanted to make my own. I had no idea how hard it would be to find cute Halloween paper. Or letters that stand up. Once I found the materials it was easy as pie. And fun to do. Here's what I finally came up with:


A plate of pumpkin chocolate chip cookies topped it off. And done.

But seriously, check out this site. So cute! (Thanks for sending me the link, Beckii!)

Happy Fall!

boo!

May your Halloween be as spooky as what lurks in the depths of my refrigerator.
Mwaahaahaa ha ha...

You can see my little spooks here. (Sorry for linking. The pictures posted better bigger.)

Six. (And some change.)

The when she turned 6 is not as important as the fact that she did turn 6, right?

Six years (and some months ago) my life changed. Forever. (I stopped sleeping through the night for one thing.) But more than that, my heart grew six sizes that day. And nearly burst through my chest. Before that I never knew what it meant to love someone so unconditionally.

Avery had the most beautiful little baby lips I had ever laid eyes on. I just kept saying how perfect they were. She also had the biggest feet I had ever seen on a newborn babe. Almost like she came with skiis. (Which was appropriate since we lived in Jackson, Wyoming at the time.)

There has not been a dull moment since her arrival. I can't believe she's already in the first grade. She loves to read, draw, and ride her bike without training wheels. She's an amazing big sister and a huge help. She loves to surprise her mom and dad with flowers, pictures, and doing chores without being asked, including mopping the floors. (Ay yay yay.)

One of my favorite things about Avery right now is how she just bursts into song whenever she hears Taylor Swift or Miley Cyrus. Even if we're in the middle of Kohl's. Like the whole world is her stage. I Love It! I hope she will always have that confidence.

"D" is for Doughnuts!

Last Wednesday was a teacher's workday. Which presented the perfect opportunity to give in to my craving (can you call them cravings if you want them just as badly when you're not pregnant?) for Krispy Kremes. I know all that stuff about, "breakfast is the most important meal of the day" and all that jazz, but really, I can't think of a better way to have started the day. Especially considering how the rest of the day went.
I'm in love with these pictures. And also, looking at them makes me want another donut. (Doughnut?)









When can we do it again?!

Beautiful noise

12 weeks.

I heard baby's heartbeat today. I love that sound.

I feel so very blessed.

I never said I was a fast learner

Note to self:

Do not send 3 yr. old child to room for time out.

If you must, please check the premises for any scissors, child variety included, that may be stashed in the vicinity.



Failure to do so may result in altered jeans (aka holes in the knees.) As you may remember from the two previous incidents.

Thank you for your attention to this (less than minor) detail.

Denied

You know that lady, the one in front of you at the checkout line with about a gazillion items and a price check? And then, finally everything is scanned and accounted for but then her credit card doesn't work?

Card Denied!?

I was that lady yesterday.

And to add insult to injury, I was shopping at the Goodwill.

They do not take Discover (I'm finding that a lot.) So I pull out my check card instead and hand it over. Card Expired. No problem, I have my cell phone I'll call and activate the new card. Problem, cell phone- dead. Turns out you have to call from your home phone anyway. I then proceeded to pull out another check card from another bank account that we rarely use and are on the verge of closing. PIN number invalid.

"Could you just write a check?", the trying-to-be-patient cashier prodded.

A check. Yes. I could write a check. I fumbled through my purse for the checkbook and a pen and began to fill in the amount. The pen ran out of ink.

I borrowed one. Wrote my check. Picked up my bag, my children, and my pride and we left.

On the way home I stopped at another Goodwill. I'm a glutton for punishment and I was on a mission to find some items I needed for a Halloween craft and our first attempt left us empty handed. (Except for the awesome deals we found on Halloween costumes for the girls and some stinkin' cute gymboree shoes that I'm sure Brittain will grow into in the next year or two.)

This time I was prepared. I made my way to the checkout, confidently pulled out the rarely used, saved my tush checkbook and asked to borrow a pen. I included my phone and driver's license number for good measure.

"I'm sorry. The system won't accept your check."

What?!!!!

"It's probably just an error with our system but it won't process your check at this time..." she said, an apology in her eyes.

By now I was panicking because that is our main account. And I knew with a surety there was plenty in the account to make my Goodwill purchase. My mind ran wild. I knew someone had hacked our account and taken all the funds.

The cashier put everything in a bag to hold for me while I went to get some cash. Luckily the bank, with the account we are about to close was in the same parking lot. I went through the ATM and was able to enter the correct PIN.

Armed with $20 cash I returned to Goodwill. Made my purchase. I still don't have the item we went in for. Candlestick holders if you must know.

I came home, checked the account online. Everything looked right. Yes, it probably was your system, thank you very much. Then I activated my new card (the one that I received probably two months ago).

I should be good to go.

But you may not want to get behind me in line. Just in case.

Adieu Binky, Adieu

Yeah, right.

Day 1 started off like any other typical morning in these parts with Brittain contentedly talking, singing, or hollering around her binky (pacifier). Mostly happy as a clam. Throughout the day she enjoys emptying every cupboard she can reach or climb to. Especially the Tupperware and canned good items. Occasionally she will put things into those same cupboards. A shoe, the now overdue library book, her binky. So I wasn't overly concerned when evening approached and there was no binky to be found. After searching several of her favorite hiding places to no avail and bedtime coming steadily nearer, however, I began to worry. It was Sunday after all so I didn't want to run to the store. Besides only a few weeks had passed since the last time we had to buy replacement binky's. Surely we could unearth one somewhere. But no.

Night 1 I resigned myself to the fact that baby (I use this term loosely as she is 19months old and a seasoned nursery goer) would have to go to sleep without her prized possession. We substituted with an extra doggie to snuggle and the routine went on as normal, a story while we rocked, followed by a couple of songs. Then I tucked her quietly into bed. She did not make a peep. Not one. I made my exit.

A while later I could hear her talking and playing quietly in the crib. Not too shabby I thought. (But I forgot to knock on wood.) And right after that little pat on the back is when the noises went from quiet/happy to loud/angry. And that continued. Until after 10. And because she is not an only child I, against my better judgement, got her out of bed. She finally passed out sometime after midnight. Only to be awakened again when the phone rang at 3:30 am. She then woke up every hour or so after that and in the saddest cry you've ever heard asked for "Binky?"

Day 2 I headed straight for the binky aisle at Walmart. Call me weak. I bought a two-pack that we ripped open right away and another one I stashed for a rainy day. We are not ready to give up the binky. Although she'll only get it for naps and bedtime (and "maybe when I'm on an important phone call and she's whining"- that was Avery's idea). I decided we should ease into it rather than go cold turkey.

Any tips you can share for weaning of a pacifier? For once I'm ready.

With Mason we cut off the tips and that helped. He even threw them away himself. Of course, with him, I was ready.

3 and counting (part II)

Not too long ago I wrote this post titled 3 and counting..., wherein a few of my readers thought I was announcing another baby but instead it was a celebration of 3 yr. old's birthday. Those readers may have been on to something but my suspicions had not yet been confirmed. And while I was playing on words with little proof I was totally hoping it was true. Which may be crazy- some days I can barely handle the 3 kids we've already been blessed with.

Never the less,(wow, where did that come from?) after weeks of being sick as a dog (that expression always kills me) and jumbling through extreme, exaggerated (more than normal) tiredness it has been confirmed. Baby #4 is on the way. I'm super excited. The kids are too but I think that's mostly because that means Grandma(s) will come to visit (we hope!) Ryan is acclimating to the idea. I think. Right, hon?
(For clarification, he's acclimating to the idea of another baby, not that the grandmas are coming. He's definitely good with that.)

Baby is not due until the end of April/beginning of May. Which is going to seem like a really, really long time to Mason. And probably to myself by then. In the meantime, I am feeling much better. Hallelujah! And I do not feel guilty, even a little bit, catching a nap with the kiddos every chance I get. (Except for when Ryan comes home for lunch and I'm zonked out on the bed. Again. With dishes and laundry piling up everywhere. But believe me, those things will wait. And Mason only had to go commando once for a couple of hours so that's not too bad, right?)

Back

to my regularly scheduled life (snotty noses, stinky diapers and lots and lots of love.)

I had an amazing time at the photography workshop I went to. It was so much fun and I learned a lot! (Also, I got to spend some time with my parents not to mention eat Cafe Rio-for lunch and dinner! Awesome!)

However I am glad to be home. Being away does help me to appreciate my family but not as much as coming home does. I was re-immersed into a world of sticky hugs and kisses and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Imposter

I'm feeling like a business woman sitting at the airport in Greenville with my laptop. And no children. Kind of weird. Kind of nice. (Although truth be told I almost teared up when I said goodbye.)
I'm off to a photography workshop and two nights of uninterrupted, much needed sleep. I'm not sure which I'm more excited for. But then, I don't have to choose.

Good news

I imagine there is never a good time to have your computer go out on you but right now was just super bad timing on many levels. So, when my computer wouldn't boot I left it alone for the night and prayed it would start the next day. When that didn't happen, I prayed it would start the next day. Nothing. Finally I took it in to get fixed. With the diagnosis being the motherboard I hoped I could pick one up on ebay without breaking the bank, all the while I was still praying, hoping for a miracle, which may sound extreme, I realize there are a lot worse things that could be happening, but I just could not put much money into getting it fixed.

Then one afternoon as I was shopping for motherboards I received an email from Brian (the techie) to stop looking. He'd walked past my computer and decided to try and boot the system himself (someone else had looked at it before). And would you believe it booted up! And instead of buying a new motherboard upwards of $200-$300 he ran some tests and the problem was bad memory instead. Maybe it was misdiagnosed originally. Or maybe it was an answer to my prayers. Either way, to me it was a miracle. One that I am very grateful for.

Are you a Hannah Montana fan?

We watched Hannah Montana tonight. We just finished up. I realize it's a school night but we don't start homework until next week so it still sorta feels like summer vacation, ya know.

I'll be honest. I've been resisting Hannah Montana. Big time. I was blown away at Christmas last year when perusing the aisles and Avery let out a big "Hannah Montana!" squeal as we passed some mumbo jumbo accessory or another with the star plastered all over it. I didn't know Avery even knew who she was. Slowly, through school and friends Hannah Montana has made her way into my little girl's heart.

So tonight I broke down and rented the movie. (Ryan had meetings and I can't be responsible all the time.) There were some really corny parts. Avery loved it. So did Mason. (I'm not too worried. He loves everything his older sister does.)

Avery wanted to know if Hannah Montana was real. So I was explaining how she's just a character but that Miley Cyrus is real. Of course I had to add,"and isn't she so much prettier just being herself?"

"Mom, that's not what I mean. Does she live here? On earth?"
I assured her it was true. She was giddy. Then later in the movie when "The Climb" came on Avery couldn't contain her excitement, "I've heard this on the radio. She really is real!" It was great.

Several times throughout the movie, chair-couch-floor was abandoned because the temptation to get up and dance was just too much. And I'll be darned if Mason didn't know most of the words as well as Avery. It was so much fun! Even Brittain got in on the moves.

Afterwards everyone was super tired. Not one single fuss was made about it being bed time. Also, Avery really, really, really, really wants a Hannah Montana CD. I told her maybe she could do some extra chores and earn some money to buy one. She's even excited about that.

So I'm thinking, maybe Hannah Montana isn't so bad after all.

The good news or...

So, the good news is that my hard drive is not messed up. (All files are intact.) That is great news, actually. The bad news is the mother board is no longer functioning. That was short lived. (Like, just over a year. In other words, just over the warranty expiration. Ah, well.) She must have been overworked. I think many of us can relate to that, right?
In the meantime I'm stealing moments on my husband's computer to let you know that the rest of us are alive and well. Which is something considering how this weekend went down...

ETA: so the bad news just got worse. It's almost twice as much to replace the motherboard as the hard drive. And all my files are saved on an external hard drive anyway. Bummer! Any ideas on where to pick up an inexpensive motherboard? (On the bright side, motherboard is a funny word.)

We tried to hide...

We played hard and ran fast but summer's end found us anyway. Last night we trudged uphill to the elementary school with heavy feet, longing for the freedom of flip flops and days spent at the pool. We met Avery's 1st grade teacher, Mrs. Reilly (yay!), and although we'd been resisting, we couldn't help but get caught up in the excitement and anticipation.

This morning we headed up the same hill. Today there was a skip in our step.




Although we will really miss having Avery around all day I know she is going to have a great year!

3 and counting...

I'm quickly remembering that age three is not a favorite of mine. So much harder than two. It's the age when naps no longer make a regular appearance whether needed or not. (And believe me, they are needed!) The age where indecision and independence collide.

But it's not all bad. I still get glimpses of my favorite little guy. And he slows down enough for a cuddle now and then.

We celebrated Mason's birthday first with the Blau side and the next week at my parents. My grandparents came over as well so I told Mason to tell them how old he was. "I'm four," he answered confidently. I reminded him he was actually only three. "We just had your birthday, remember you turned three?"

His response, "But, I've already been that." He figured he turned 3 the week before, it only made sense that now, since he was celebrating again, he must be 4.

I can't imagine my life without you in it, Mason. One of your favorite things to do is make people laugh and you are very successful at that. You are a such a sweet brother. I love you like crazy little man!

Quick story:

For months Mason would say his prayers and pray for Jesus to come to our house. One day we'd pulled into the church parking lot and I was talking to him about which friends he might see in nursery... Van, Jared, Lily. He interrupted, "And Jesus." The conversation took a turn when he said, "Look, see his car!" I looked to where he was pointing and saw Brother Jevne, with his brown hair falling below his ears, step out of his car. It was so sweet and funny at the same time.

Thief! Theif!

I'd love to know what the gentleman on my front porch thought when he couldn't help but over hear the following conversation, in part because it was loud and also because the front door was left wide open:

6 yr. old at the top of her lungs: "Mom just stole all of my money!"
Mom: "I did not steal your money. And stop yelling."
6 yr. old (again at the top of her lungs): I'm not yelling!
3 yr. old to 6 yr. old- wanting to get in his two cents worth: "You're yelling. Not Mom."
6 yr. old: "Well, she stole my money!"
Innocent man on the porch just trying to drop off a package: "Uh. Mrs. Blau?"

Classy.

The part he missed was when 6yr. old got some birthday money from gma and gpa but didn't have it with her at the store where she found the goggle/snorkel kit that she just had to have and had been dreaming about all summer. I explained that we could get it but that she would have to pay me back with her bday money. She shook with excitement and promised she would. Apparently it was easier said than done.

Home Sweet Home

We made it home after a two week trip back west to spend time with family! I cannot believe all that we crammed into a two week period. It was so much fun!!! Posts and pictures coming soon!
But, today is Avery's bday so it will have to wait... we have some partying to do!

Cherries

Earlier this summer I was at the grocery store with the kids. As we roamed through the produce aisles Avery spotted scrumptious looking cherries and asked if we could get some. They were not cheap. I told her no and she settled on some grapes instead. But she was really disappointed. That very same week some good friends from church invited us to go cherry picking with them.
Sometimes our prayers our answered before ever being uttered. In seemingly simple ways.

Crash. Boom. Bang. A 4th of July recap.

Our 4th of July was not filled with parades, picnics, or fireworks. Instead, Ryan was suffering from kidney stones. Really suffering. I have never seen him in so much pain. It was awful. After many sleepless nights, his and mine, we were plumb tuckered out by the time Saturday rolled in. We did go to the small nature center here. Ryan joined us. I'm not sure he didn't regret that decision but he was a good sport.

Next I had to pick up a few items from the grocery store. An end cap graciously offered pop-its and sparklers. Back at home the children threw pop-its with delight. They even enjoyed the pre-dusk lighting of the sparklers until their tired mother ushered them off to bed before they could say, "but it's not dark yet..."

Writing about how tired I was made me sleepy. So I am skipping ahead a little.

The end.

Cobwebs

I am cleaning out the cobwebs. In my house. And my brain.

I hope to be back soon!

Splish Splash and a Giveaway

Here are some pictures of what we've been up to most this summer.

And even if you don't really want to see the pictures head over and find out how you can win a free lifestyle photography session with Destinee Blau Photography. Session will take place in Asheville (or Idaho- see the photo site for more details.)

Get a Job!

Avery: Mom, how old are you again? Thirty-something?

me: Just 30.

An hour later.

Avery: So, Mom, you're 30?

me: Yeah.

Avery: Oh. When are you going to get a job?